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Friday, July 13, 2012

Self-esteem: What If You Don't Feel Good About Yourself?

Mark Twain said that “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
To feel good about yourself, count your blessings. This will take your self-esteem up as you see yourself in a positive way that is realistic.


As you grow and go about your life interacting with other people, you form a picture of yourself. You develop a self-concept – what you think about yourself or how you see yourself. How you feel about this picture of yourself defines your self-esteem. What if you have formed a picture of yourself that undervalues who you are? What if you have allowed other people to diminish your self-worth? What if you have stifled what you can do by your past mistakes and failures? What if you have a low-self esteem? What if you don't feel good about yourself?
My experiences tell me that Mark Twain was most accurate when he said that “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” It is self-esteem that defines our capacity for happiness.

I found the wisdom in counting my blessings when doing it colored my picture of myself into one that I felt wasn't all that bad. I begun to see my potential, what I can do, what I can become.

What if you don't feel good about yourself? Count your blessings. I did this at a low point in my life. You will need to enumerate before you can actually count. Counting your blessings is not as easy as counting 1, 2, 3 especially when you don't feel good about yourself at the time. You need to think hard at first. I remember saying, “Oh, yes, I actually did that.” or “I am actually good at that.” or “They were always there for me.” as I endeavored to count my blessings. I cannot be truly grateful to God for all these blessings unless I sincerely appreciate who I am. Counting blessings is a feel good experience. Doing this, I became aware of my self-worth. When you count your blessings, you will see the good part of you. It shifts your focus from the negative things you think about yourself. Many of these negative things and issues about yourself were impressed upon you by other people who did not believe in you. As you count your blessings, you begin to see that angle of yourself that is beautiful. You become aware of your good qualities, your special skills, and people, no matter how few, who care about you. You remember what you did and see that they were quite an accomplishment. You become aware of what you have and take note of your assets. As you keep on counting, a new picture of yourself emerges. One that is worthy, that is valuable, that can be more. Count your blessings to see yourself in a positive way that is realistic.

In the 2011 drama film That's What I Am, self-concept is defined as a descriptive construct such as “I am a teacher. I am a singer. I am a writer.” These descriptive constructs were the taglines of the film. The film illustrated that defining what you are gives you direction and helps you make sound decisions and healthy choices despite obstacles.

By focusing on the good things you do and your good qualities, you develop a good amount of self-esteem that gives you the power to believe in yourself. A high self-esteem develops a form of self-fulfilling prophecy. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, self-esteem allows people to face life with more confidence and to easily reach their goals and self-actualize.The more you believe you can achieve something, the more likely that you actually can.

I am a Harry Potter fan and one of my favorite scenes in the Harry Potter movies is Harry teaching Dumbledore's Army in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix where he said: “Working hard is important, but there's something else that's even more important: believing in yourself. Look at it this way: every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more than we are now - students. If they can do it, why not us?” Why not, indeed.

What if you don't feel good about yourself? Count your blessings until your have a self-esteem just enough to conquer your fears and try new things to become everything that you are capable of becoming.

In the process of seeking to improve my self-worth, it was so timely that I stumble upon an inspirational book by Jim Rohn entitled Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle where he wrote:
“If there is one area in the knowledge department where we cannot afford to be lacking, it is knowledge and awareness of our own uniqueness. We do not feel better about ourselves for the simple reason that we do not really know ourselves. For if we truly knew ourselves – our strengths, our abilities, our resources, our depth of feeling, our sense of humor, our unique accomplishments – we would never again doubt our ability to create a better future.”

What if you don't feel good about yourself? Count your blessings.

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