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Thursday, September 08, 2011

Tradeoffs: What If I Give Up One For The Other?

A tradeoff involves a choice between two desirable options with incompatible features. In making a choice, pick the one that yields lasting and profound rewards. Asking the most basic questions can help us make up our minds. Who am I? Where do I want to go from here? As we answer these simple but discerning questions about our life, we begin to see what is most important in our life. When we have set our priorities clearly and when we choose based on these, no matter what the outcomes may be, our intentions will remind us that we have not totally failed.




What if I have to give up a dream just to keep what I already have?
What if I have to walk out of what I have built to reach a goal?

In life, there will always be compromises. We just cannot have it all. Life bestows us with all kinds of tradeoffs. A tradeoff is an exchange of one thing in return for another. It involves a choice between two desirable options with incompatible features. It requires a decision to give up one for the other. It implies a sacrifice that is necessary to enjoy the outcome of one over the other. It demands failure in one in order to succeed in another.

Tradeoffs are inevitable because of scarcity of human resources such as money and time. Limited money makes us choose between buying a house and traveling abroad. Limited time makes us decide on whether to pursue a doctorate degree or to have a child. Human interaction creates tradeoffs on whom to devote our scarce resources. Will I miss our office party so that I can attend my son's Christmas presentation? Will I refuse to buy my daughter an electronic keyboard so that I can afford to get myself a video camera?

We choose based on outcomes. Do I clean my kitchen or watch TV? It will be immediately desirable to watch TV but it will be desirable later if the kitchen has been cleaned. It is very tempting to choose options with immediate gratification. Tradeoffs with the use of time involving minor activities with inconsequential outcomes can be dealt with easily by proper time management. However, there are tradeoffs that imply life-changing choices with irreversible consequences. The thing about tradeoffs is that we choose now but the outcome comes later. Stephen Covey noted that:
“While we are free to choose our actions,
we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.”
Because future outcomes are uncertain, we find it difficult to choose.
Imagine that you are a great leader confronted with a paralyzing tradeoff. You need to choose between allowing the death of a dear loved one so that thousands of your countrymen will be saved. What is your decision?
I, myself, would choose to stay paralyzed in a situation like this. If somebody else would decide to choose the many over the one special to me, I will be inclined to think that he did not exhaust all the possibilities to evade the tradeoff. Consequences can only be assumed and not specified, thus, I will be inclined to reject his decision, but Winston Churchill once said that “a man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality.”

Tom Stoppard expressed reluctance in making a choice saying that:
“Life is a gamble, at terrible odds – if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.”
Ayn Rand, however, insisted that we need to choose:
“Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.”

When confronted with a tradeoff, we pick what is more desirable but the desirability of choices vary depending on our perspectives and priorities. As we mature in tackling life's tradeoffs, our priorities evolve and our perspectives broaden.
When we tradeoff one thing for another, we act on our choice expecting a more desirable outcome than that of the other that we gave up. We see our action coupled with their results. But results are unpredictable. The quality of our choices must come from the depth of our response based on our values and principles in life. Stephen Covey said that:
“There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles.”
William James articulated that:
“We are all ready to be savage in some cause. The difference between a good man and a bad one is the choice of the cause.”

“Will I give up my job to be able to spend more time with my kids?” I remember a friend, a mother of two young girls, who was confronted with this kind of tradeoff. She chose to resign after her older girl had a fall that gave the child a concussion on the head. Her daughter did not suffer any permanent injury but she decided to quit her job. Her thoughts were that her employer can always hire another person to replace her but her kids have only one mother. Spending time with her kids, admiring them, caring for them, attending to their needs, supporting them in their learning experiences, consoling them when they are hurt are to her far more rewarding than her paycheck and her likely advancement in her career as a college professor. Family is number one in her list of priorities.

When we stumble upon a tradeoff in life, two things are required: to be able to choose, and to choose well.
Some people, resenting life because of painful choices and unfair tradeoffs, refuse to decide. Inability to decide may lead to stagnancy or even tragedy.
One of the most important lessons that we can learn in life is knowing how to choose well. Most of our life depend on the choices that we make, the tradeoffs that we take. Choosing well needs good taste and correct judgment, for which intelligence alone is not sufficient. In making a choice, pick the one that yields lasting and profound rewards. Asking the most basic questions can help us make up our minds.
Who am I? 
How did I get here? 
Where do I want to go from here? 
How can I get there?
As we answer these simple but discerning questions, we begin to see what truly matter in our life. When we have set our priorities clearly and when we choose based on these, no matter what the outcomes may be, our intentions will remind us that we have not totally failed.

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